I first started looking at Pornography when I was 12. That would have put that date around 1989.
Since then, beating porn has been one of my most enduring challenges.
It was the free 10 mins on Sky TV between 11:50 pm and Midnight. You know the stuff. It was sexy dressed people, teasing provocatively, ads playing, phone numbers appearing from nowhere. Then when 12:00 am came, it all went fuzzy and you knew they were having sex, but couldn’t see anything.
The first movie I saw was a german couple on a VHS tape. I hid the VHS tape in my house and would watch it only when there were no other people in the house with me.
Reading Porn
I bought my first porn mag when I was 16 from a newsstand at a train station. I first bought cigarettes that time as well just because I was ashamed and embarrassed to get the porn magazine on its own. I read the mag and smoked cigarettes on the train journey home and looked at naked pictures of all different types of women.
I would read the stories as well. If you have a healthy imagination, then why not.
Before my train journey ended, fear and embarrassment crept upon me and I threw the magazine and the remain cigarettes out of the window.
When I was 17, we got internet in our house and that introduced me to a larger library of information. It carried on that way, until I got my own wireless computer in my own room when things really took off. I was 27 then.
The depravity, experimentation and constant dopamine hits continued. When I was 32, I realised I had a problem. 20 years after I first saw it. I’d like to say everything got better from there, but it did not. I was an addict, but now I was AWARE of it. It would take another 10 years, hitting sexual rock bottoms, a lot of spiritual and emotional work before I could get to a place where I could finally rid it from my life.
Porn Addiction Realisation
The battle
Porn Addiction Hypnosis
When I finally got to Mexico, I looked at getting a hypnotherapist.
And so even though my own journey has been long and arduous, with a LOT of 2 steps forward, one step back, I feel like my life is a lot better for having actually gone through it. Sure, it would have been healthier to not have the level of exposure, but at the same time, it has taught me a lot about myself. It’s also taught me a lot about intimacy and the lack of it and where I fit within the realm of dating, companionship and sharing moments with someone special.
Beating Porn
Porn Addiction Relapse
Porn Addiction Forums
There is a lot of help to me here. A lot of men here had struggled with their addictions. Hiding behind obscure usernames, they recounted how they had become aroused by things not in line with their own sexual preference or even things that they were weren’t sexy or disgusting.
Is Porn Bad?
I don’t think so. I think with most things that humans have problems with, it’s about moderation. A pizza once in a while is fine. A pizza 4 times a day, 7 days a week, 365 days year? Probably not your smartest move.